As a child I loved Christmas. I loved helping my Mom unpack all our Christmas decorations and carefully arrange them around the house. I loved listening to Christmas music, particularly the Muppet Christmas Album with John Denver. I loved watching the same Christmas movies year after year: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, A Christmas Story, A Charlie Brown Christmas. And I loved the gift exchange; both the giving and receiving part.
That is gone, all gone now. I despise it and want nothing to do with it. Oh sure, I'll buy gifts for my family but instead of taking the time to carefully orchestrate some fantastic present they'll love, they're getting gift cards and booze.
As an aside, I love my family. This is the conversation I had with my brother yesterday:
Seriously, Steve and I don't want anything. Do you guys want stuff? Because we'll get you stuff if you want it, but I would prefer not to exchange gifts.
Wait, do you think that would upset Mom and Dad, if we rejected Christmas? Well, what would you guys want?
BROTHER:
Well, I was kind of thinking along the lines of booze.
ME:
Perfect. Steve and I like booze, therefore we will exchange gifts of booze. We will come over to your apartment after Christmas dinner, and we will drink the booze that we have exchanged.
I've tried, really I have, to get into the Christmas spirit but I can't. I've tried to watch the movies and listen to the music, but it doesn't stir one iota of feeling up in me other than that of disgust.
I'm not entirely sure where this hatred of Christmas has stemmed from on my part. It's partly because I've been really busy the last few months, so I almost feel like I don't have the time for it. I just want it to be over and done with. Another factor is the rampant consumerism. That is just not where my priorities are at this point in my life. Stuff does not make you happy. Well, some stuff like booze, and good food, and yarn can make you happy, but having the latest and greatest thing that every advertiser says you need to have does not a happy person make. Relationships with people, now that's where happiness comes from. I would much prefer to cook an awesome Christmas dinner for my family while having good, meaningful conversation than have any amount of gifts or money. I am just so beyond that and for that I am thankful. I guess the other part is that we're not religious, so the day itself really holds no meaning for me. The thing is, for even the people who claim they are religious, that's not what the day is about anymore either. Christmas makes people crazy. It puts all sorts of pressure on people, and before you know it your beating down some other parent for the last toy on the shelf. Where is the peace and joy and love in that?
The only thing good about Christmas will be seeing my friends and family that I don't get to see as often as I'd like. I just hate all this Christmas crap I have to put up with to get there. Really, I just want these last 10 days to go quickly so that every thing can get back to normal. I like my world surly, thank you very much.
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